Raspberry Beret
by DireSphinx
Summary: And now, for your viewing pleasure, the poem on crack.


_This is kind of a spin-off from my Secret Santa fic for you-know-not-my-name. Would have stuck it in with the **Trains** fic, but fanfiction dot net wouldn't let me align center the poem piece. Thus this bit of crack gets to stand alone. Still fits the prompt parameters though. I'm kinda happy about that. _

_And now, for your viewing pleasure, the poem on crack:_

* * *

**Raspberry Beret**

Kaito put on a raspberry beret

No, he did not buy it at a second-hand store

It was surely brand new, here were the tags in the bag

This was the first time it would ever be wore

O.o

(Or should it be worn? He was sorely confused

English verb endings all sounded the same

But hey! Wore rhymed, sounded simply sublime

That was good enough to settle the claim.)

o.O

So he set out to see his mop-wielding friend

(The author would not let him out of the song)

To proclaim to her his undying love

When something of course went terribly wrong

O.o

A train descended upon his path

Smack dab in the middle of the street

Flattening cars, a hose, a prize-winning rose

And a Tyke tricycle with adjustable seat

o.O

Kaito stared agasp at the locomotive chass

The same pink as the hat on his head

But before he could inquire as to the proprietor

A voice bellowed a curse and it said

O.o

"Oh shiver me timbers and shake me boots

Toss me in Davy Jone's locker

The old gal's gone and landed on land

Should have known she'd fly off her rocker."

o.O

Now Kaito was surprised to say the least

It's not every day pink trains fall out of the sky

But before he could get a word in edgewise

The voice let loose with a wail and it cried

O.o

"Now I'm stuck who knows where out of the air

With landlubbers left and right

And me crew's all deserted except for one lass

Who won't scrub the deck and can't fight!"

o.O

"I can so!" says a voice Kaito'd know anywhere

And from the caboose who should he espy

But wonderful Aoko, dear darling Aoko

With an eye patch and leather thigh highs

O.o

"A mop's not a weapon!" the voice argued back

"no man worth his salt'd wallow in fear."

"Says you!" clamored Aoko, raising a broom

"But I've got a whole high school who knows to stay clear!"

O.o

"Why don't we just ask the lad?" said the voice

"The one in the silly pink hat"

"Fine!" Aoko huffed and turned to the front

And blanched at the boisterous brat

o.O

"Kaito?" she cried, in mortification or fright

The boy couldn't really be sure

His brain was still fried from the flash of her thigh

Who knew leather could hold such an allure?

O.o

And the blouse was not helping, all flowy and silk

With a corset trussed up center stage

Add the gloves and the jewels with a mop in her hands

-All coherent thought had been disengaged

o.O

At least until said mop came flying

Mere inches away from his face

"What the hell are you doing here?"

Screamed Aoko as they began the chase

O.o

"I don't know!" cried Kaito as he ducked to the ground

Barely dodging a wide uppercut

"But I can't say I'm complaining" as he raced to her behind

"Leather looks great on your butt."

o.O

"OOOOHHHH!" fumed Aoko as her face bloomed red

Swinging like a fan on high

"You just shut up!" she snarled at his laugh

Yet she smiled without knowing why

O.o

The banter continued for minutes or days

Who can tell when they get like this?

They might have bickered forever if it weren't for the voice

"Well lassie, ye gonna keelhaul the landlubber or kiss?"

o.O

That ended the chase right then and there

They froze and jumped back ten feet

"Uh, it's nothing like that!" both teenagers declared

Yet their eyes would refuse to meet

O.o

"Sure sure" said the voice "That may be true

On the river of Egyptian De-Nile

But when I had me hands on a buxom beauty

Me booty'd be more than her smile."

o.O

Neither knew quite just how to reply

But the voice carried on after clearing its throat

"Now lassie, I believe we must set sail

If it's Kid ye be wantin to smote."

O.o

"Aye Aye!" cried Aoko as she leaped onboard

Determination shining in her uncovered eye

Looking back at Kaito she called out "Farewell!

I'll see you at the end of July!"

o.O

But Kaito wouldn't have it, he jumped for the side

Of the pink train as it started to fly

At Aoko's confusion he blithely replied

"I've always wanted to be a Pirate of the Sky."

O.o

Just shaking her head she looked at the boy

And granted him a fond little smirk

"I wouldn't expect less" she softly remarked

"But you do realize you'll be expected to work?"

o.O

"What?" Kaito said, his face turning pale

Gazing at the ground far below

"You'd better get started" she happily stated

"The port decks need a good ol heave ho."

O.o

Leaving the boy to his miserable chore

She turned on her heel to flee

But before she departed she posed a thought

"Why is there a beret on ye?"

o.O

"Oh, this thing?" Kaito said, reaching up with both hands

"It all has to do with a song."

"Well then let's hear it," Aoko commented

"Perhaps I could sing along."

O.o

"Don't say I didn't warn you," he then declared

Before descending into the beat

Standing up, he strutted up to the girl

And knelt before her two feet

o.O

"_I wore a raspberry beret_" he sang

"_The kind that you find in a hyaku yen store_

_Raspberry beret_

_It was shiny and new and the only one that I wore_

_Raspberry beret_

_You know the rest of the song_"

Then standing up he looked into her eyes

And pulled her into a kiss quite long

...

(See what happens when you listen to Prince too long?)

* * *

_And no, I don't know why pirates are on trains that fly through the sky. That's why it's crack._


End file.
